(Still) Learning to love my body

Myth: If I loose weight and workout hard enough, I will feel good and love my body.

Truth: Women and men of all shapes and sizes struggle with body image.

Myth: If I loose weight, my clothes will finally fit!

Truth: Mass produced clothing is based on measurements which make the design look great at some sizes and mis-shaped for others.

Myths are based on truth, they tell about a lesson to be learned, but they can be harmful when considered all around fact.  I know that when I exercise and loose weight, my mood rises. I know that a lot of my clothing was purchased at different parts of my story, so not everything fits my body all of the time. Remembering these truths can motivate and drive my actions and choices, but sometimes I let these practices disrupt my relationship with my body.  I start to look at my body as the culprit for all of my problems.

One hand: My body has (insert issue/disease)

Inner Critic: it's my fault or my body is faulty.

Other hand: My body did not cause my health problems.

One hand: Daily habits contribute to bad health.

Inner Critic: it's my fault my body is faulty.

Other hand: My work ethic didn't cause all of the challenges my body is facing. People of all body types and health practices get cancer, have miscarriages, develop heart problems, have depression, (insert your struggle here).

So, Who is to blame? Society? Mass media? Men? Women? God? Me?

Blame won't get me to a smaller dress size.

Blame won't make my legs more agile.

Blame won't solve my health issues.

Truth: Learning to appreciate my body, will improve my mood and motivate me to care for my body.

So, can I choose to love my body like I hope God and my family love me? Could I choose to have a relationship with my body which is based on faithfulness and loyalty and not condition?

Myth: we don't choose who we love, love is not rational.

Truth: We choose to be in relationship with people apart from momentary feelings of love. Love is relational.

What would it look like to love my body because it belongs to me? What would it look like to cherish my own flesh and blood like a sister or child or parent?  What would it look like to revel, delight and indulge in "living" in this body?

I think this is one of the reasons I felt drawn to the movie "Muana", the story of a young clumsy girl who helps two mythical mighty warriors and a whole nation of people rediscover their true selves. This Myth reminds us of the truth that people of all abilities and sizes can help one another return to being "at home" in their bodies.

Maybe I can begin to learn by loving funny shaped delicious fruits and vegetables.

Maybe I can begin to learn by loving how my amazing ankles always catch me when I fall--I have a talent for falling, ask anyone who knows me.

Maybe I can begin to learn by choosing to trust my body has amazing abilities to warn me and heal.

Maybe I can begin to learn by choosing to love and be in relationship to my body, forgiving all blame and fault, learning to be faithful instead of perfect.

Yes. I think that's it. There's the truth of it all. Let's learn to be faithful to these treasures given to us by our maker.

Alleluia, Amen.

A Little Lady Named Abigail

A friend of mine asked me to do some drawings in the style of the "Book of Kells" for Music Camp, and, I will tell you, I had a lot of fun.  Celtic drawings have always fascinated me with the weaving patterns and ornamental lettering.  Some of my favorite hours spent drawing as a child were designing animal letters.  So, first I made my pinterest board, and I learned how to make lots of knots.

Then I played around with how to design their three stories: the parable of the good Samaritan, the friend who was lowered through the roof to Jesus, and the story of Abigail, David and Nabal.

Somehow when I learned this story about Abigail, probably two decades ago, I missed the fact that when she met David and his men, she was riding a donkey on a mountain pass.  What a powerful act of grace! This woman, most likely young and beautiful and married to Nabal as property, embraced an authority to speak on behalf of her husband and household. She spoke with boldness in the face of the great giant slayer and his band of men, bearing their swords and ready to fight.  She lead donkeys full of food through the mountains as an offering of peace. Wow. I am still in awe of her courage!

So, if it's been a while for you, enjoy a fresh reading here, and see what you can learn from this little lady with a big heart.

Then enjoy these worksheets.

The Beauty is in the Small Stuff

This Sunday I’m preaching with the two Hymns “In the Garden” and “Morning Has Broken” along with John 1, John 20 and Isaiah 43. So, I felt like this was a good time to visit the K-State Gardens and Insect Zoo.  Me, Kati, the one who screams at the sight of a spider, went to an insect..zoo.  Let me tell you, I learned a lot! It was also alarmingly refreshing to look at something so frightening in such a safe way. The biggest, hairiest, and most beautiful tarantulas relaxed in their habitats in front of me and I could admire their beauty on the other side of the glass.  I was even brave enough to go into the dark, cave-like room with the biggest spiders and the biggest beetles—they had chompers!  Afterwards I explored the pathways of the gardens, smelled the roses, took pictures with the Black Eyed Susans, and did a sketch of the fountain.

I’ve been mulling over the beauty of it all, and I’m struck by the beauty of the imperfection of the garden. From the stones to the lilies, everything showed it’s age and the weather that it has blossomed through.  The water in the fountain seemed so wild and strong and soft and balanced.  Creation danced before me as I enjoyed some recreation time, enjoying God’s constant re-creation of me and the world around me.  Lord as you care for these delicate and small creatures, care, renew and restore my soul. Alleluia, Amen.