The treasure within

7 We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.8 We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. 9 We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.10 Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.   

2 Corinthians 4:7-10 New Living Translation (NLT)

Robbie and I are on the most exciting and challenging journey of our lives: we’re expecting a baby in May 2017!  I say most challenging, because it’s not about having the skill to learn a language or climb a mountain or something I can train to do perfectly. We are on this wild ride which is filled with joy, lots of emotions, new firsts, a queasy mama, a proud papa, eager hearts, and a mysterious activity going on inside my body that is growing the newest member of our family! It is so surreal it makes my mind as queasy as my tummy;) 

This morning in my prayers I felt God give me this passage, as I find myself to be the fragile clay jar carrying this beautiful treasure. Paul was using this image to speak to the Christians in Rome who were being persecuted for their faith.  The fragile clay jar symbolized their human bodies which could be broken and damaged, while the treasure inside symbolized their faith as a gift from God which could not be damaged by the world, because it was sustained by the life of Christ and nothing else.  As someone who longed for motherhood, I never imagined the physical challenges that would come with it.  Sure I knew that there was sickness and body growth and hormones, but I’m Kati, I can get through anything. I never imagined how tired I would be, how depressed I could get at times, how constant food aversions and nausea would effect me, and how that special “umph”, or ability to muster up energy and get something done, would just disappear out of reach. 

So many things can go wrong in pregnancy, it’s hard to fathom that those things are mostly out of our control.  Although I keep a tight watch on my diet, I recognize that ultimately I could do everything perfectly and so much about the child’s development is still completely out of my hands.  Thankfully, though, God’s hands are there at work. My mantra this week has been to let God take control; “Jesus take the wheel!” Like it or not, I recognize I’ve never been in the drivers seat for this journey, but recognizing that God has always been there brings me peace.  This little treasure may be fed by my blood and my body, but it is sustained by the Life of Christ already shining from within.  

Compassionate and All-mighty Creator, keep up the Good work and as I am pushed from every side may I find the joy to marvel at the treasure within, to rejoice in the gift being given, to laugh like Sarah at the joyful mystery of it all, and to sing like Mary for the blessing that is coming into our lives.