Snow Labyrinth

This week I had the opportunity to walk a labyrinth in the snow and ice at Heartland Presbyterian Center. Was it dangerous? Possibly. Did that stop me? Of course not. I think it made it all the more thrilling. In fact I think of the Labyrinth as a typically safe place to pray and meet with God, so perhaps my excitement was in my desire to have a more “challenging” or “authentic” trip around the maze, because life has many risks we have to meet as we turn and follow and turn and follow.

This may have been the most complicated pathway I have ever taken, and I’m not just talking about the snow and the ice. Some of the labyrinths I have made are simple. The limit of space limits the number of turns, and therefore limits the chance to get lost as your feet easily know where to go. When the labyrinth is simple, the walker must set the limits and complexity to meet with the Spirit, giving the walker more control.  When the labyrinth is more complex, you don’t always know where you are going or how far you are from the center and it seems to be going around and around without going anywhere until suddenly you find yourself at the center. At several points in this labyrinth I had to ask myself, have I been this way before? I kept going back and forth and really got lost in the focus needed to walk. The snow and ice added an extra challenge. About halfway to the center I came to a crossroads, because I couldn’t tell whether the pathway went straight or turned to the right. My practical sense figured it out, but for the moment I felt this great parallel with life. We may come to a standstill, not knowing, and sometimes we may choose the wrong pathway, or a path that leads us further away from our goal, but we don’t have to wait to meet our goal for an encounter with God. God is there at every turn, God walks beside us, before us and behind us at every straight, clear or blocked pathway. 

I continued to the center, I continued praying and all the while I continued listening.

I heard the Spirit say to me, “You cannot and do not know all things. You may find rest in knowing you are loved by the one who does, and that one who controls all things acts out of deep love and hope for you.”

Whether it’s the state of our nation, the concern for our families, the hopes for our relationships or the day to day goals of making an impact on the world, may you also find rest in the unrelenting love of your Creator. 

Amen.

New Beginnings

Ahh…2018, how we have longed to see you.  You are not offering us the welcome we wanted.  Bitter storms and mudslides instead of quiet winter days and solid ground to steady our feet.  The continued threat of war, the continued fear of those who are different from us, the continued bickering from the right and the left.  You may put on a show of gloom and doom, but we know the truth.  You are offering us a new beginning each day.  Every morning, every step, every breath is another chance to re-direct our perspective towards hope.  

We have come a long way from the day when Martin Luther King Jr. simply spoke the words of his dream for an America where "one day right there in Alabama little black boys and little black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.”  Some days the children seem to be kinder to one another than we are.  Other days, the children reveal the worst of our locker room conversations, degrading one another for things we didn’t know we taught them.  We still have a long way to go to reach the day when children "will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.”

Disruptive Nature, Divisive News, and Distracting Networking block us from taking a break, pausing for a new breath, or resetting our course for hope.  We have met the challenges of our times with genuine perseverance, and we will continue to meet whatever you bring to us in 2018 with determination and a good sense of humor.  May we do so with hearts as courageous as Maya Angelo, who said, “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time."  

One more time? I can do that.  I can trust and hope for another day, another new beginning, and from there, we’ll take a breath, reset, and trust again. 

(Still) Learning to love my body

Myth: If I loose weight and workout hard enough, I will feel good and love my body.

Truth: Women and men of all shapes and sizes struggle with body image.

Myth: If I loose weight, my clothes will finally fit!

Truth: Mass produced clothing is based on measurements which make the design look great at some sizes and mis-shaped for others.

Myths are based on truth, they tell about a lesson to be learned, but they can be harmful when considered all around fact.  I know that when I exercise and loose weight, my mood rises. I know that a lot of my clothing was purchased at different parts of my story, so not everything fits my body all of the time. Remembering these truths can motivate and drive my actions and choices, but sometimes I let these practices disrupt my relationship with my body.  I start to look at my body as the culprit for all of my problems.

One hand: My body has (insert issue/disease)

Inner Critic: it's my fault or my body is faulty.

Other hand: My body did not cause my health problems.

One hand: Daily habits contribute to bad health.

Inner Critic: it's my fault my body is faulty.

Other hand: My work ethic didn't cause all of the challenges my body is facing. People of all body types and health practices get cancer, have miscarriages, develop heart problems, have depression, (insert your struggle here).

So, Who is to blame? Society? Mass media? Men? Women? God? Me?

Blame won't get me to a smaller dress size.

Blame won't make my legs more agile.

Blame won't solve my health issues.

Truth: Learning to appreciate my body, will improve my mood and motivate me to care for my body.

So, can I choose to love my body like I hope God and my family love me? Could I choose to have a relationship with my body which is based on faithfulness and loyalty and not condition?

Myth: we don't choose who we love, love is not rational.

Truth: We choose to be in relationship with people apart from momentary feelings of love. Love is relational.

What would it look like to love my body because it belongs to me? What would it look like to cherish my own flesh and blood like a sister or child or parent?  What would it look like to revel, delight and indulge in "living" in this body?

I think this is one of the reasons I felt drawn to the movie "Muana", the story of a young clumsy girl who helps two mythical mighty warriors and a whole nation of people rediscover their true selves. This Myth reminds us of the truth that people of all abilities and sizes can help one another return to being "at home" in their bodies.

Maybe I can begin to learn by loving funny shaped delicious fruits and vegetables.

Maybe I can begin to learn by loving how my amazing ankles always catch me when I fall--I have a talent for falling, ask anyone who knows me.

Maybe I can begin to learn by choosing to trust my body has amazing abilities to warn me and heal.

Maybe I can begin to learn by choosing to love and be in relationship to my body, forgiving all blame and fault, learning to be faithful instead of perfect.

Yes. I think that's it. There's the truth of it all. Let's learn to be faithful to these treasures given to us by our maker.

Alleluia, Amen.

Learning from our Grandmothers

I remember the day my Mama (my mothers mom) died, I felt like this incredible hole was left in the world. Rosemary, or Rosie as some called her, did so much for so many people, I felt a calling to stand in that gap, to do everything I could to give and help others as much as I could, and began a life of a servant, sacrificing my needs for the needs of others. Maybe you've felt this compulsion too. We answer Christ's call to pick up our cross and follow in service and self sacrifice.  

This week I've been reading the most vital faith book I've read since Anne Lamotte's book Traveling Mercies, which shook my image about what it meant to receive the grace of God and others. This new book is called Consider the Birds, a Provocative Guide to Birds of the Bible, by Debbie Blue. You might not expect it to be a life giving, theologically startling book, but hold on to your seat, it's about to be moved. 

The first chapter points out how the dove is actually no more than a pigeon...and not usually  white. So not only did the Holy Spirit choose the dirty form of a pigeon to dive bomb Jesus at his Baptism, but that same Spirit hovered over creation...possibly more like a delicate fragile pigeon than an enormous and powerful seagull. "What does this say about what it means to be holy?" She asks...without an answer.

Then in the second chapter she throws out a quote by St Francis who likens Jesus to a pelican...yes! a pelican. How might this be, you may ask? Medieval thought somehow induced that pelican mothers pierce their breast to feed their young from their own blood, providing an all too easy correlation for Jesus' sacrifice and the communion chalice. However erroneous this claim was, she recognizes the beauty of looking for beautiful actions in those animals whom we call beasts with disdain, where the medieval theologians called them beasts with an air of dignity.

She raises in place of the pelican covered in its own blood an image of one drenched in oil, covered in the sins of our appetites and disregard for the repurcussions of our actions. Other gods require human sacrifice, but our God, she reminds us, requires mercy not sacrifice.

Time and time again, the great I Am tries to explain this to Israel. I don't want your sacrifice of bulls and oil, I want you to learn mercy and walk beside me.

Mercy not sacrifice.

We crucified Christ, and it shook the foundations of the earth. Christ called us to consider the birds and live in joy, and we choose to only look at ourselves and live in shame. Christ's life and death were given to us not out of sacrifice but of love for us and the hope and joy of sharing a life eternal together. Christ suffered on the cross as a result of humanity holding onto our traditions and ideas so hard that it brought down the one person who could save us, the one who choose to hold on to us for dear life and let go of his own.

This was exactly the way Rosie and Vera lived their lives. They weren't sacrificing their desires and needs to serve others, they were fulfilling their joy by sharing love with the world and doing what was vital for their survival and the survival of their children. They knew what could be let go so that other things could survive, even thrive. How happy would they be to know I can share in this joy?

This is important for our generation of women to understand. 

We have to learn what needs be sacrificed, let go, released with good riddance, and love what needs to be grasped, embraced, and held onto for dear life. Have we made the right distinctions? Or are we holding onto the wrong things? Are we sacrificing that which is vital for our lives...and for the lives of others. 

One thing I sacrifice is my body. I don't place worth on it, and hold onto the many tasks that sometimes turn out to be unnecessary. The new questions for my life are here: What can wait and what is vital to my existence? What can be left undone and what must be done with fervor? These are the questions I have been yearning to ask. These questions are why I cringe when we pray the prayer, "forgive me father for the things I have done and left undone," in the most traditional of confessional prayers. Did Rosie pray this prayer? Did she welcome the forgiveness for the things that may be left undone? What would it look like for me to welcome that forgiveness in my own life? How can I welcome the forgiveness for the things I do which are impeding rather than freeing my soul? What would it look like to embrace that which brings me life? Would my flourishing radiate to the point that others could the catch fire and live in the process? Let us watch and see!